By Linda Dobson who owns and maintains the website Parent at the Helm, and is the author of many homeschool books.
I always shied away from praise about the kids’ behavior, intelligence, talent, kindness, whatever. Assuming there was enough time for the conversation that would commence as soon as I said it, I’d respond with something to the effect, “It’s not me; it’s the kids; really, they’re educating themselves.”
Interesting how the person who just moments before was flattering me suddenly experienced a complete body language shift. The eyes might widen in disbelief, or narrow as if I was the devil incarnate standing before her (it wasn’t always a “her,” but mostly). It was the narrow-eyed ones that made me wonder if the conversation was going to result in a visit from some child protective agency.
Answering the Question Can Kids Teach Themselves?
“Can kids teach themselves?” some asked, a living tribute to the successful programming of the vast majority of the population, courtesy of government schools. (And we do have to set aside the reality that yes, any of us can “teach” ourselves, in order to offer a different, hopefully helpful, perspective to the questioner.)
The key to this question, of course, is the unstated assumption that whatever wonderful attribute is noticed in a child, it has been taught. The assumption is a result of what I’ve termed “school mind” in some of my writing. There must be a teacher! If there is no teacher, then learning can’t happen! No learning without teaching!
“I’m not talking about the kids teaching themselves,” I assure the questioner. Her body relaxes – a little. “We use every life moment and learn from it, talk about everything under the sun, meet people, volunteer, read a whole lot, ask questions…oh, and I use ‘thinking out loud’ quite often, too. Experience is the best teacher in the world. Experiencing real life leads to real life learning. Through it, the kids have learned how to learn. You know, living life instead of hearing about pieces of life through a teacher.”
“Unless they need or would like a teacher,” I throw in, thinking about the American Sign Language teacher, and the community college classes that became part of our overall experience.
“Oh.” The silence is deafening. Except I hear the wheels turning. The quiet grows uncomfortably long so, figuring I’m on a roll, I prepare to continue, but the questioner asks, “What is thinking out loud?”
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