Part 2. Written by single mom, Kimberley, owner of the website, The Single Crunch. A website about attachment and single-parent parenting. She answers all your pressing questions about homeschooling as a single parent and puts all your doubts to rest. Humorous and highly enjoyable read! The original post can be found here.
Here’s Part II. We’ve already discussed the various reasons I homeschool my children. I haven’t been doing it for very long, but already I’ve learned some ways to get around being single, very close to the poverty level, and inexperienced as a “teacher.”
I so often hear single moms say they’ve wanted to homeschool for awhile, but don’t think they could do it. But you can. Let’s start with the biggest obstacle it can present for a one-parent home: moola, or the lack thereof. Then we’ll discuss the other stuff.
1) A – How Can I Homeschool If I Have To Work?!
Lady, you’ll just have to get creative, with a capital THINK. Think about the talents you already have, the things you do on a daily basis. You cook, you clean, some of you organize, some of you are good with computers, etc. Think about the city/town you live in, and if there’s room for a new business that offers a certain service or product, that you could provide.
Think about if there’s not much room for opportunity, and whether or not you’d be willing and able to move. Think about going back to school to do something part-time, and using your financial aid as a starting base. Or you could work part time and go to school online (most community colleges offer online degree programs). Think about other families you may know who currently homeschool – would they be willing to school your child(ren) while you work, if you could or currently do work part-time (if you offered to pay them, or exchange a service with them, such as babysitting or housecleaning)? These suggestions may sound farfetched, but they’re not. They work for many people and with the right effort and preparation they can work for you as well. Also, if you’re single and not receiving child support from a dad you know can provide it, think about obtaining a court order to get the assistance you deserve. Even if it’s only $50 per week, that could cover a bill or a few meals or a portion of childcare. Call your local Child Support Enforcement Agency for help.
1) B – I Can’t Afford To Homeschool
No, you can’t afford a 1300-dollar online curriculum, or a 500-dollar set of books. That’s okay. Again, be creative. After my divorce I started dating the entire Internet (I knoooow, scandalous). And when I told him, “Internet, I want to homeschool my children on a budget of ten dollars per child, per year. I need your help, Honey,” he brought home a bevy of FREE worksheets, activities, co-ops, learning games, templates, e-books, and more. I knew then he was a keeper. If you don’t have home access to the internet, your local library does. You can probably also print there, for a fee. Or if you know someone who has access and a printer, ask them to let you use theirs. And if you can, make a small but valuable investment in an affordable laptop and printer from Wal-Mart. They have bundles that are cheaper than if you buy them separately. My daughters and I stood in line for 5 hours to be the first in line for laptops at Wal-Mart this past Black Friday, and it’s the best thing I could have done for our homeschooling endeavor. Go to all of the tag sales, consignment shops, and library book sales you learn of. Scour them, take your time, and you’ll find great books to teach your children from, at prices that will make your wallet raise the roof. If you know families who homeschool, ask them for their old materials. Look around your house for teaching materials you already own: cookbooks, old encyclopedias, maps, globes, newspapers, magazines, etc. Be open and think outside the box. And also, no one says you have to have a formal curriculum. You just may be an unschooler, Peaches.
2) I Don’t Have The Patience To Homeschool On My Own
Giiiirrl, yes you do. I am SO NOT the most patient person on the planet, I’m probably not even in the top 5 billion. But I’m also not the fastest person on the planet, yet when we had races in school for nifty, coveted prizes, I was Florence Grifith-Joyner (am I dating myself?). My point? If you keep your eyes on the prize you will discipline yourself to be patient. The prize? Whatever the reason is that you desire to homeschool: more time with your family, educating your children in a safer environment, not having to deal with the public school system, whatever. Think of how many things you wouldn’t have thought you could do until you did them out of sheer necessity. Consider being patient one of them. Take it day by day. Recite mantras. Be open with your children about working on it. Pray. If you feel anger is a problem for you, try seeing a therapist. If for some reason you can’t do that, get your emotions out by talking with someone, and if you don’t know anyone you can really talk to email me at thesinglecrunch@gmail.com and I will give you my phone number. My name is Kimberley. I’ve seen stuff I’ve done stuff and I know how hard it can be.
3) My Children Don’t/Won’t Listen To Me
Oh, Sweetness. I actually hear this, in some form or another, pretty often. Spirited children who already get “naughty” reports from school, so their parents fear having them at home all day. As with your own patience, this can be worked on. When our children are away from us for the better part of their day, week, and month, it can be very hard to find a good rhythm. Especially when you’re single – after work and school there’s barely enough time to get dinner on and bathe them and get chores done, let alone finding enough time to connect. It could be different when you’re homeschooling. The first few weeks or months, or maybe even the first year, may be rocky. But what isn’t tough in the beginning, when it’s really worth it? Again, take it day by day. Wake up in the morning with a goal for only the day ahead. Sit by yourself and really try to get to the root of what you feel the problems are. If your children are very active – what foods do they eat? What do they watch on television? Are they allowed enough time to get that energy out? These are all things you can better monitor when you homeschool. If your children constantly seem disinterested – are they down or depressed? Have you just not found out what things keep their attention? I’ve found that with my children (whom I admittedly never felt I’d have problems with, but sometimes do), the problem is usually a lack of communication. I’m doing things on my time and not considering their own internal clocks. Learn to adjust to what they feel should be done, and you’ll find things go much smoother. And they’ll be more willing to work with you. My eldest knows it gets frustrating for me at times, and because she sees me accommodating her, she is very willing to give me some leeway as well.
4) I’m Not Smart (Enough)
I can’t do fractions. I have very little interest in Social Studies. I don’t know crap about photosynthesis, except how it’s spelled. I can, however, put on a pretty spot-on French accent, and make a mean mudpie, and I’m not too shabby a hiker. I know how to introduce myself and my children to complete strangers, how to take gadgets apart and Google the instructions to repair it, and how to map the best route to climb a tree. Your children don’t need to learn everything that public school teaches, at the very least not on the same timeline.
Spend your first year focusing on enjoying your experience, and transitioning out of the public school routine. Children learn best by playing pretend, getting dirty, and being listened to. Let them teach you what they need to know. When you notice there’s something you feel they should learn, such as how to tell time, or state and country capitals, teach them in whatever way you find works best for them. You don’t need textbooks. A computer is helpful but even if you don’t have one, the library does. Your library card is your ticket to free education. Some days we spend our entire morning there, reading and doing “projects” online, or crafting, or talking. Go to museums. Many offer free or inexpensive admission, and they may even have days with special educational events planned. And when you want to do more formal learning, there are books and websites that will tell you what children “should” know at each age and stage of development. But still, let them decide for themselves.
5) We’d All Get Bored
You will? What about that coffee shop that you’re going to become daytime regulars at? You know, the one with the outdoor seating and the crappy food (but who cares because you’re packing, right?), and all the cool, weird people coming and going? What about the city bus? You could pay your two dollars for a ticket and ride it to wherever and get off and explore, couldn’t you? What about your local YMCA? They may not advertise it, but they more than likely offer a sliding-scale fee arrangement, don’t they? Couldn’t you go there and play basketball and swim and exercise and play racquetball and take classes and just hang out, probably with other homeschoolers? Yes, you could. Join every mailing list you find: the library, the museums, the Parks & Rec Department, your local newspaper, whatever. Keep in the know of what’s going on. I’m not very good at being organized, so when I get an email that something fun (or something I’m going to tell my girls they’d better consider fun) is going to happen, I set an alarm for it on my cell. Your entire school day could be planned around one event: go to it, then talk about it, then learn more about it at home or at – uh-huh, the library. And you know what? You all will still get bored. Don’t stress Babycakes. When your children are bored they will find things on their own that they enjoy doing. You can help by making a “rainy day” box that they can go to on downtime – fill it with lots of activities that will hold their attention until the next time they announced their boredom. I’m going to do a post about rainy day boxes in the future.
6) I’m Not Organized
Again, Darlin’, you just may be an unschooler. Even if you’re not, you don’t have to be organized to homeschool your children. There are no periods, no lunch breaks, no bells. Let your days go as they may. Your family will find a schedule that works best for you. Make a very broad schedule to start and see if that works for you. Tell your children if there’s a certain time by which you want them to wake up. Let them know the day before if you have something “special” planned so that everyone is in special mode. Or keep it open. Say, “Tomorrow we’ll go to the park and have lunch by the beach.” And when you get to the park, see every tree, patch of grass, animal, building, table, bench, sand pit, walkway, flower bed, trash can, recycling bin, pregnant woman, less-abled person, police officer, and play area as an opportunity to talk and to learn. There’s your school day. The only thing my girls and I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DO every day, is to wake up. And even that, we cannot control.
7) My Children Won’t Have Friends
Yes they will, Sugar. Even if yours is an only child. First off, all children have imaginary friends and in my house I often lose my seat to them, so they darn sure count. But seriously, your child will have friends. You know all those other children who are out when you’re out during the day? They’re likely homeschoolers. And if you have neighbors, they’ll still have them as friends, even if they aren’t in school together. Your child will meet people everywhere you go, and you will exchange numbers and make playdates and plan meetups. There are also many online homeschooling groups that are area-specific. It may take a bit more effort, but unless he/she doesn’t want to, your child will have friends.
8) I Don’t Know where To Start – I Don’t Have A Plan
Yes you do, Boo! You have a plan to homeschool (or unschool)! That’s your plan, right? Set it in motion. If it makes you feel better, sit down and write the steps you think are necessary. If it doesn’t, withdraw your children from school when you’re ready, and take it from there. That’s pretty much what I did. I’d been “planning” for years, thinking of all the things I wasn’t able to do with my eldest while she was with her “other mother,” The Public School System, for the greater portion of her day. And when we started homeschooling, those are all the things I started to do. We’ve had days that didn’t seem like school days, until later when she’d reference something she remembered from that “lazy” day, and I’d know that she learned. In the beginning I’d worry that she isn’t learning enough, but the more we’re together, and I witness her speaking so well to everyone we meet, and explaining things to me and to her little sister, the less I dwell on it. I’m a grownup and I was public schooled and I’m pretty sure I didn’t learn everything I need to know. In fact, I still don’t know all I feel I need to know. Makes me happy I’m on this homeschooling, unschooling, self-education, journey with my children.
I think I’m going to do another post that goes further into detail about some of the ideas I’ve touched upon here.I hope you get some good ideas from this post, and please write to tell me what I’m missing. Much love.
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